Whatever Works
Today has been a little messy. My mind was a badly run metro station with trains of thoughts colliding into one another – the Isetan project, ACIM Day 1, creativity and match.com. I was literally switching between tabs on a browser every other minute. Nothing significant came through.
Ordo ab chaos.
That’s latin for ‘order from chaos’.
I wonder what should the end be. Greek philosophers would say Order, but seriously, what’s wrong with pure chaos? Isn’t there beauty in chaos too? Chaos, like what went on in my mind today.
OK, order sounds good. But if everything eventually ends up in order, what would the world be like? Would we all wake up at the same time, eat the same breakfast, do the same thing, hold the same conversations and die the same way? If you take order to its ultimate end game, it doesn’t sound so pretty either.
I think the saying is misleading. An improvement would read ‘ordo ab chaos ab ordo ad infinitum”. This, at least, reflects our human condition more truthfully.
What if both ‘order’ and ‘chaos’ are just illusions. A pseudo-understanding of the world taught to us to keep us running in circles. A veil of sorts. The blue pill.
What if everything is just the way it is now, in this very moment; and whatever combination of ‘order’ and ‘chaos’ you might misunderstanding there to be, that it is really all the beauty that the world has to offer to you, right here, right now?
In Woody Allen’s latest movie ‘Whatever Works’, the ingenious, morbid, insensitive and suicidal Boris Yellnikoff (played by who else but Larry David) is not anything else but himself. Obtuse – yes, but that’s him. And being true to his essence, life, unfolding to him within Woody’s script, would reward him with finding his true love. And under the most unexpected and unusual circumstance.
There is light beyond this infinite cycle of life.
With this, I close the day with a can of Sapporo’s best and a new lesson learnt.
Read MoreMen’s Best Friend
It’s been awhile since I wrote on this blog. I haven’t stopped writing though, it’s just that I thought the stuff I went through in the past year would not be relevant to you.
So here I am, sitting by the harbor front at a Starbucks (where else, haha), writing this. Oh yes, I have a new companion now – his name is Bowser and he’s a 6-month-old golden retriever. Save for a few tense moments in the car on route to our destination (he gets car sick), Bowser is really the perfect company for me – he keeps to himself, doesn’t bark and is not easily aroused – as I could write on my outings with him.
So I have a pet now, but I only got Bowser towards the end of the hiatus, perhaps as a milestone or a reward of some kind. Much has happened on this journey. I have learned many lessons and I will be sharing some of them here. The end of that ‘journey’ doesn’t mean that the learning stops, in fact, a new chapter of my learning has commenced, and from here, I will have much more to share on this blog.
Today, I shall tell you the story of how Bowser and I met.
I had dogs before but they were never really mine. If you were to ask anybody who knows me, they will tell you how unlikely is it for me to own a pet, much more so, to own a pet when I’m living alone. It’s simply not me to go into a situation like this. I mean, I love animals, but to have to pick up their poo and wipe their ass everyday is something else.
It all started with “Marley and Me”. No, the movie didn’t get to me, but it sure got to Madeleine (my 10-year-old daughter), who then started chatting me on Facebook every other day to ask me to get a dog. She will bombard me with questions like “why don’t you get a dog, it’s the best companion” or “what percentage chance are you at right now on getting a dog”. At the same time, she will send me pictures of puppies, dog keeping articles, books, etc.
I was resilient at first. But when the gentle reminders turns into desperate cries, I had to give her something. I responded with numbers: initially “40%”, then “50%”, and eventually “70%”. I never moved beyond 70% and explained to Madeleine that the remaining 30% is really up to the dog.
Frankly, I am not entirely against the idea of keeping a dog. There are many a times when I’m alone and thought that having someone around is, well, nice.
So, I decided to give it a shot, just one. It’s going to be a one time thing: I would make an inquiry and that’s it. So I picked one of the many forum threads of dog owners selling puppies Madeleine sent me. I made one enquiry. One, that that got me one response to set up one meet.
On the day itself, I cleared my schedules, did nothing that could potentially throw me off. I made that day special – I believe in subtle energies and wanted my ‘waves’ to be as uncluttered and true as possible. You see, I am letting the puppies pick their master. It is really up to them now. Them, or whoever is guiding them.
I reached the breeder’s place early, calm my thoughts and as I walked to the door. It was ajar and I could see the breeder mopping the floor while three golden retrievers were seated obediently on the wooden couch. They were well-trained. But when I came into their sights, one of them started fidgeting and attempted to leap off the couch. The breeder cracked a command but to no avail. Bowser is now on the floor and running towards me. What can I say, he has chosen me and I know he is going to be my dog. The moment is now 100%.
As it turns out, Bowser is the perfect companion for me. On the first day home, he instinctively knew to take his business to the lawn. He would let out a groan in the mornings and whenever he has to go. He understood what “naughty boy” meant the very first time he heard it. He rarely barks and is very friendly with human, especially little children.
You wouldn’t believe how glad I am to have been chosen, Bowser’s nothing like Marley in the movie. Sometimes, it’s good to let go of ego and control and leave some things to Spirit.
Read MoreMiss you
I have been going to bed at 3 in the morning for weeks now. I don’t think it’s insomnia – I have none of the undesirable side effects. I am, however, suspicious of the purpose of these extended hours.
Last night I did something different from my usual nocturnal ritual of reading, the PS3 and the occasional smoke. I found this song “Miss You” by Miki Imai and thought I could listen it in song-repeat mode. So, headphones on, ipod set, lights out.
The intro mesmerized me and relaxed my mind. Thoughts are muted out soon. It’s a befitting melody to usher in Miki’s double-chocolatey sweetness. Like a gentle cloud, she lifted me into a motherly cradle. The song is like a lullaby, one sang by Mother Earth herself, reassuring her unwavering love for me. Cuddled, I faintly hear her tell me that it is ok to surrender and release. Images followed. Of someone whom I cared for. We lead separate lives now, but I know I’ll always be there for her. Like a guardian angel. Unfortunately, one that’s mortal and on the same dimension. We can be together but it is not time yet. The distance has to be maintained. While the tidbits of conversations are good and enough for now, the sweetness of the night and Mother’s comforting embrace made my heart dared to yearn for more. I don’t think it will be an unrequited quest. I know that all good things, as all good things should be, will come in good time. But for an hour in the darkness of night, my heart broke free and felt the full ache of missing someone, missing you.
Read MoreReforge Your Relationships
Photo by Payton Chung
Most of us in relationships play all sorts of mind games. No matter how great the beginnings of the relationship might be, most of us end up in a power struggle with the one we claim to love.
Many of us fall into this trap – and events in the past couple of weeks has led me to believe that I have too.
But unlike most modern (‘cool’) metropolitan types, I did not choose the path to exit the relationship gracefully.
It is apparent to me that something critical is missing from the relationship. And today, I happen to chance on Tom Kenyon’s article “Alchemy of Relationships” that has provided me a hint to the missing puzzle piece.
Read MoreHow to Make the Most out of Meet-Ups
Photo by kk+
A big part of our social life revolves around meeting and chilling out with friends. Depending on your age group, you could be hanging out at a MacDonald’s, Starbucks, dance club, wine bar, pub, golf clubhouse, private clubs or even local joints where the cheapest beer is sold.
Until recently, I don’t really like to hang out much. I thought I was a quirky-alone, but it turn out I am just bored with the run-of-the-mill conversations that dominate these sessions.
A year ago, I attended a leadership course and got to know a new group of friends. We shared a deeply bonding experience and became very close in those 3 months. Thereafter, a small group of us continued to meet up. As it turns out, I really liked those meet-ups.
This article is about what makes those meet-ups fun for me.
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