We have been on a quest for happiness for too long.

The adult version of happiness: I will be happy when I get that promotion, make a million bucks, marry that girl, buy that car, live there, etc.

The child’s version: I will be happy now, hahahahahaha.

Right this minute, I am seated comfortably at a cafe along Orchard Road, sipping a chocolatey mocha spin and finishing one of the best apple crumbles I’ve ever tasted. The wind is weaving through the greenery around me. The hustle of traffic ring in a distance. I stretch out my legs and took a deep breathe of the best air this city can give. I like to loiter the crowded stretch of Singapore’s shopping street because I think it’s the happiest place in the country.

No matter where you are and what you do, you can decide to be happy too, like the child.

I realize how much time I spent on the average day picking on the wrong things.

• A government-proposed annuity plan that means I’ll get less when I retire
• An inconsiderate road hog
• A property agent who was late for my appointment
• An ugly pink bedroom
• A server outage false alarm
• A client complaining about a project not progressing to expectations
• A last minute request

Ok, I admit I tried very hard to come up with a longer and more formidable list. My list of wrong things has gotten a lot shorter than it used to be, something that I’m truly thankful and happy about. This post is about how I shifted to being picky about feeling good and dramatically improved my quality of life.

What is it like to be picky about feeling good?

Today, I consciously took a break from work at noon and headed to my sofa. Before crashing down, I purposefully fluffed the cushion, took a long, deep breathe, looked out the window and took in the view of Boon Keng town centre. Next, I slowly adjusted the incline of the cushion so that my back is rested completely. It’s a breezy day and the temperature was just right for a nap. I also had the papers within my arm’s reach. Before finishing the financial section, I felt the weight on my eyes and let them close slowly.

It was one of the best naps I’ve ever had.

Every day of our lives, we’re bombarded with random events and incidents that is completely out of our control. Our upbringing created the habit in us to focus on the undesirable. That’s why when we meet up with our friends and family, a very big portion of time is spent complaining. In good time, we become numb to this and we truly believe that our days should be filled with things we don’t want.

Everything being the same, you can turn your life totally around simply by focusing on the good things.

Whenever you notice something that causes you to feel good, slam on your brakes and turn your attention to it. Let that good thing happen to you in slow motion. Count the seconds that goes by as you feel good. Amplify your emotions and recall that throughout the day.

As you practice this even on only one good thing that happen to you that day, notice how much better you feel afterwards.

The most amazing thing is this: as you start being picky about feeling good, more good things come to you. That’s how the universe works – where you turn your attention to defines what will come to you.